Grandparents
and Your New Baby
The Role of Grandparents
New grandparents are sometimes unsure of what their role is supposed to be in the lives of their grandchildren. Everyone wants to fit in and know where his or her place is in the world. As tiny infants enter our family circles, roles begin to change. Families are joined together and conflict can occur even in the closet families.
Grandparents should be supportive to you as parents and encourage you in raising your children. One of the hardest parts of being a grandparent is not to interfere, especially when you have just brought your newborn home. You are trying to figure everything out and they will be tempted to jump in and do things their way, all well intentioned to be sure. This is where grandparents really need to step back and wait to be asked to help. Sometimes it’s hard for your parents to step aside as you are making decisions for your baby. Your parents may disagree with your parenting style. You have your own ideas so don’t be afraid to set boundaries that everyone can live with. Be thoughtful and tactful. Deal with any disagreements in a loving and respectful way. If you speak honestly and openly you will build a much stronger relationship. Resolve your differences quickly to avoid any built-up resentment.
Having grandparents in your children’s life should be a very positive experience. They will love your children no matter what. Grandparents keep you connected to family history, traditions and life stories. This helps your children gain a positive image of themselves and their place in the family. Traditionally grandparents are the glue that keeps the family together. They can provide encouragement and support to your family, especially in difficult times. They can help out with babysitting and care giving when needed.
Grandparents are also wonderful teachers that can pass down special skills and talents they learned over the years. As role models they can provide examples of what it is to have a good work ethic. Grandchildren may have such a trust in their grandparent that they may confide in them about issues they are hesitant to share with you. Grandparents are usually good listeners and can provide a buffer between you and your child. Most grandparents are thrilled to spend time with your children. They can strengthen the bonds of your family by sharing in each other’s life. Grandparent can give love and attention to your children without all of the duties of the parents. They can also get exhausted sooner than you so be respectful and aware of that and know the limitations of your parents, especially if they are elderly. Don’t take advantage of their unconditional love.
Let your parents create a close and loving relationship with your baby right from the start. You will find that children that are close to their grandparents do better in school and are more responsible and productive members of society. Grandparents can help direct your children to make good choices as they grow. Some of your children’s fondest memories will be of the times spent with their grandparent. Your children can bring youthfulness, energy and a lot of love to your parents. In return they will receive unconditional love, wisdom, loyalty and a sense of belonging. Grandparents can make a difference in your children’s lives; so let them get to know each other.